I have been hurt by what took place
The experience has left its pain and its wounds
There has been an anguish and distress over past events
I am not ready to forgive because of what happened
I cannot turn around my emotions that easily
Yet I do not want burning up inside
That means that the past still dominates my present
So let me try to get on with my life today
Let me develop equanimity to what was in order to keep steady with what is
There is no reason to place pressure on myself to forgive
But I will keep the intention to move on from the past
To maximise my contact with the present
In time, I may come to forgive as a way of transcending the situation
It will show that events no longer have control over my life
Then equanimity leading to forgiveness, if necessary, shows a true freedom of the heart.
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1 comment:
This is how I have been taking hurt over the last couple of years and except for certain stray equations, I've been able to handle it pretty well.
If someone's hurting you, its either an effect of some prior bad karma or it is some fresh bad karma being generated by the one hurting you. Hence, any kind of reactionary retaliation will only add up to the existing karma and is not going to serve any purpose positively in the long run.
What I tend to do is to try and not react to any hurt and rather throw it open to reason. Sleeping over hurt or thinking about it with a calm and fresh mind is the best way to handle it in my opinion.
As for forgiveness, not always will it come to you immediately. In fact, the time it takes for one to get mentally prepared to forgive is directly proportional to the quantum of the hurt caused by the doer. But trust me, there will always come a time when you'll feel yourself to be above that incident and let it go.
What you write here is more or less on the same lines as what I just wrote. The only difference that I see is that I never face the turmoil that is so evident in what you write and I don't usually feel that my past is somehow affecting my future.
Anyways, kudos as usual on a well written piece and wish you the best in what you wish to do in terms of attaining equanimity.
:-)
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