A person's ethics are known through
spending a long time with that person
and through not being inattentive.
A person's fortitude is known
through the way that person handles adversity
A person's wisdom is known over a long time
through discussing with that person matters of importance

Meditation on Equanimity

I have been hurt by what took place
The experience has left its pain and its wounds
There has been an anguish and distress over past events
I am not ready to forgive because of what happened
I cannot turn around my emotions that easily
Yet I do not want burning up inside
That means that the past still dominates my present
So let me try to get on with my life today
Let me develop equanimity to what was in order to keep steady with what is
There is no reason to place pressure on myself to forgive
But I will keep the intention to move on from the past
To maximise my contact with the present
In time, I may come to forgive as a way of transcending the situation
It will show that events no longer have control over my life
Then equanimity leading to forgiveness, if necessary, shows a true freedom of the heart.